Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It's not easy being me

Oh ... I was going to do something really fabulous today, but instead I am killing time blogging because I read too fast for the stupid online defensive driving class. This proves, once again, that if something is designed for the masses, it will cater to the lowest common denominator.

Paige said the average person reads somewhere around a fifth grade level. I think I would agree, I suppose. I could have taken this class in half the time.

I don't do anything slow, I don't think. I walk fast. I talk fast. You should see me typing right now. It's fast. OK maybe I don't run fast. But I would if I actually wanted to run. But here's the deal: there is a story behind why I read so fast, despite my public school education designed for the masses.

It all can be traced back to good old Alpine Junior High School, where all my smart friends and I managed to learn something in spite of roaches and bats in the hallways and coaches for teachers. (ha! sorry if any of you read my blog!) Anyway, back in eighth grade reading, the students were divided into groups that rotated from station to station. One of the stations was a film projector contraption that flashed sentences onto the wall. The goal was to gradually increase your reading speed. Except that my group, a bunch of smart-alecs to be sure, would turn the machine up as fast as it would go. We were just challenging ourselves, and somehow we got away with this really bad behavior. We did end up being tested on our comprehension, so you couldn't go so fast that you couldn't read it. We did all want to make As, you know, even though we were above-average juvenile delinquents.

The moral of the story? Or, where am I going with this? This is at least one very good example of how goofing off in school pays off. I am a super-quick reader now all because of the silliness of me, my best friend Kim Elliott, Jeff Stump, Mark Poteet and I think maybe Jimmy Kim.

All of which brings me back to my online defensive driving course that is keeping me from my super-exciting StucoLux installation. I do still have a decorative painting business. But today, it was forced to take a backseat to me trying to avoid a warrant for my arrest due to the ticket I got for allegedly speeding in Del Rio. And if I can't drive without getting thrown in jail, I can't very well run a business that requires me to drive.

Tomorrow ... back to my StucoLux brilliance. Wish me luck.


Lavender Chick said...

I swear that memory of yours amazes me! I will say, however, that I can remember being in the class across the hall from you and hearing you laugh all the time and your mother going and tapping on the door telling you to shut up!

Greyeyes said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! What a stroll back a couple years. I remember that machine, too funny. You finally wrote something that always makes me laugh. In the first line of the third paragraph you wrote, "I don't do anything slow, I don't think."
I was taught that the most important part of a complex sentence needs to always be the ending clause. In this case you said, "I don't think." hahahaha Thanks for the giggle Sami!!!!!!!

Painted Groove Girl said...

Hey Greyeyes ... I spent so many years with people telling me how to write and one day I finally decided to write the way I want to say it. I may not end up to be Ernest Hemingway, but things didn't turn out so good for him anyway.

And you're right... there's so much double-meaning in that sentence. Sometimes it probably would be better if I slowed down.

And Lavenderchick ... here's one for the memory banks. Do you remember when you brought your college roommate Paige from South Plains home to Alpien for SRSU Rodeo ... that was some kind of weekend on so many levels, but the point is, she thought I had a speech impediment because I talked faster than my tongue could move.

lpollard said...

dang--I missed the speed-reading projector and Teenie banging on the wall telling you to behave. I was down the hall in Mrs. Skinner's class (where she stuck live cockroaches on the bulletin board with straight pins to protest.......something or other.......)

Think I became a good reader cuz I really focused on my book to avoid watching those roaches spin around in circles.

Painted Groove Girl said...

As you'll recall, I sat right by that bulletin board, with the roach right above my head, spinning. It's a wonder we're not all warped.

Oh wait, I think we are.